I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
