Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
