we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
