U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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