Christians are straight up FREAKS
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
