On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
