At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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