Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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