Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
