Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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