Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
