Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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