there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
