his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
