What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
