I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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