Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
it was like eating out sand paper
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
