i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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