So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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