We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
