i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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