But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
