she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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