That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
