I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
