Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
