one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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