I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This is the high leading the old right now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
