what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize