i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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