Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
