you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize