You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
