We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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