I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
