So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
