I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
