My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
