i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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