I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
