Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
