SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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