We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
