I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
