Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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