i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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