yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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