I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
