i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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