if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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