I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
