Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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