so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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