so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize