can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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