Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
