happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This baby is an asshole
whose ass print is on the piano?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize