Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
