i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
