Apparently you make a good broom.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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