so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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