you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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