So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
