yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
