She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
