What did we do last night that was yellow?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
