I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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