Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
